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Anonymous humor from the Internet.

New State Mottos

Alabama At Least We're not Mississippi
Alaska 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California As Seen on TV
Colorado If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Delaware We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
Florida Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho More Than Just Potatoes...
Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana We're Not All Drunk Cajun Whackos...
That's Just Our Tourism Campaign
Maine We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland A Thinking Man's Delaware
Massachusetts Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota "10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes"
Mississippi Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies...
& Very Little Else
Nebraska Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada Harlots and Poker!
New Hampshire Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Jersey Ya Wanna ##$%##!in' Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##!in' Motto Right Here!
New Mexico Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...
North Carolina Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota We Really are One of the 50 States!
Ohio We Wish We Were In Michigan
Oklahoma Like the Play, only No Singing
Oregon Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania Cook With Coal
Rhode Island We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee The Educashun State
Texas Sì, Hablo Inglès (Yes, I speak English)
Utah Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont Yep
Virginia Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
West Virginia One Big Happy Family—Really!
Wisconsin Eat Cheese or Die
Wyoming Wynot?