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Anonymous humor from the Internet.

President's Heaven

A man passed away and went to heaven. Arriving at the pearly gates, St. Peter said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here." Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse. Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "St. Peter, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?" St. Peter replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute." "For instance, this clock is for Sam, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move." Click. The minute hand on Sam's clock moved one minute. "Click." It moved another minute. "Sam must be into closing a customer right now," said St. Peter. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day." The man and St. Peter continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man. That clock belongs to the Widow Mary. She is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. I bet her clock hasn't moved in a year or two." They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said, "I've seen everyone's clock but President Clinton's. Where is his clock?" Saint Peter smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock for a ceiling fan."